Sex Clinic

We wanted to make sure
That we were both clean of infection
Before we had sex
So we went to the local clinic.
Sitting in the reception,
She more nervous than myself,
I notice the various faces around me—
Mainly teenage girls
Who are sat alone.
She's called before me.
I wish her good luck,
A comment which I've always found slightly ridiculous.
In the waiting area is a T.V
Which is showing a programme
Which lists the best 10 views in Britain.
Next to me is a young guy
Who stares out of a window
Viewing the clinic car park.
I think to myself that that view
Probably won't make the top 10.
My name is called
And I follow
A nurse through a door
And behind a curtain.
She asks me some questions
About my sex life,
Something which made me laugh
(due to it being non-existent).
She then asked me to remove my trousers and pants
And lie down on the bed.
She then sticks something down my prick.
I swing my legs in the air and screech.
She then warns me that it might
A bit.
Thanks for the warning
I thought.
I pull up my pants and trousers,
Walk to the toilet
And give her two samples of urine.
I then return to the reception.
I sit back down
And to my pleasure
Manage to catch
No. 7
Of the top-ten views of Britain.
The young guys still
Staring out into the car park.
I sit patiently
Waiting for her.
Ten minutes or so later
She appears from the door
Looking obviously distressed and uncomfortable.
She books a return appointment
And then turns to leave.
Not looking
She walks straight into the glass door.
It was at that moment
That I realised 2 things.
First was that I truly loved her,
And second
That she'd left her glasses
In the doctor's

—Andrew Hill, Chigwell, Essex, UK