The Tall Have It Made

You and I were fortunate
to be six footers, father said.
Look at Lincoln. He was

one of our greatest presidents.
He was tall but wore a hat
to appear even taller. Look

at Napoleon. He was short.
He also tried to look taller
by always being painted

on a horse. He had a complex
named after him, because he
kept fighting everyone, so he

wouldn’t have to get down from
his horse. What I’m saying is
make sure you eat your Wheaties

and don’t do anything to stunt
your growth. Because it’s a lot
easier wearing a hat than riding a horse.

—Hal Sirowitz, Philadelphia, PA